hmm.. slightly before noon today on wed morning. feel quite.. stone. the holiday is having a bad effect on me. woke up this morning and heard the rain falling. was supposed to be playing soccer at sin ming now. but juz couldnt force myself to wake up. so ttz one missed opportunity. i felt so lazy last night. den i turned off the alarn. so i guess. i can only blame myself for missing the soccer.. sian. nothing to do now. no mood to do any work. not uncommon by any means though. been feeling roughly this way for the past two and a half weeks. first thing i wake up in the morning. checked my phone..... no yf. again!! wahh. cannot take it liao. another week without it is torture. hmmm. i still think i would have the meeting though. but no yf..... sian. i have no clue wut to do now. maybe ttz why im sitting in fronta the comp typing this out. im not even talking to anyone. cant be bothered to double-click on anyone's names at the moment. lacklustreness u may call it. or plain l a z y. stupid sars is having a dire effect on ppl's lifes. esp kids. i juz read an article in TIME juz now. about how the virus looks like and how it spreads. and its rather freaky. can only be seen under 100,000x magnification? and its no more den juz a cousin of the normal influenza virus.. and all these can be traced back to China. and the livestock they have there.. well. paranoia hasnt really reached our little red dot yet though. even though our schools are closed and all. at least we dun put on masks when we walk outside to the park.
philosophy. so complicated at times. yet when u read and understand. it makes perfect sense. sometimes when i try to understand myself. what im doing. i get lost. i mean why am i doing this? what is the purpose. occasionally and frighteningly i cant find any. what is the world coming to today. iraq war. 911. SARS. juz recently i read in the papers that the earth was losing its magnetic field and all the radiation stuff from outer space will come in and infest mother earth. scary stories. even if we dun live to see it. the mere thought of it sends the chills down the bravest of ppl. morbid thoughts. on a morbid day. ppl say im deep. maybe... its true.
i believe... that love is the answer
i believe... that love will find a way
i want a moment to be real
want to touch things i dun feel.
want to hold on and feel i belong.
and how can the world want me to change
when they are ones that stay the same.
(they dun know me. cuz im not here.)/ (they can see me. cuz im still here)
imstillhere.imstillhere.imstillhere.........
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